If a doctor, a relative, or a stranger on the internet has ever told you your fertility "falls off a cliff" at 35, this one's for you.

ast week I posted about this on X, and it clearly hit a nerve. Almost 600 people saved it. So I want to walk through the numbers properly here, where I have more room.
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You can read my original post on X here.

First, the honest caveat

These numbers come from 3 studies. They're averages across thousands of women, and may not represent YOUR odds. Think of them as a baseline. If your metabolic and cycle health are better than average, your numbers may look better. And vice versa.

What the research shows

Miscarriage. A study of more than 420,000 pregnancies in Norway found miscarriage risk was lowest at 27, at about 1 in 10 pregnancies. It was about 1 in 6 from 35 to 39, about 1 in 3 from 40 to 44, and just over half at 45 and older.

Embryo chromosomes. A US study tested more than 15,000 embryos from IVF patients. In women 26 to 30, roughly 1 in 4 embryos had abnormal chromosomes. That passed half at 39 and reached 88% at 44.

The same study asked a question that matters a lot if you're doing IVF: what are the chances that none of your embryos are chromosomally normal? From 26 through 37, it stayed low, about 2% to 6%. It was 33% at 42 and 53% at 44.

Trying naturally. In a US study of women trying to conceive on their own, 87% of 30 and 31 year olds were pregnant within 12 cycles. For 40 and 41 year olds, it was 54%. Only a few dozen women over 40 were in that study, so treat that number as a rough estimate.

So what does this tell us?

Look at 35 in those numbers. Nothing dramatic happens. In the natural conception study, women in their mid and late 30s got pregnant a little more slowly than 30 year olds, but the gap was small enough that it wasn't statistically clear until 40.

Risk rises gradually through your 30s. It creeps up a bit more around 37 and 38, then climbs fastest after 40. That's what I mean when I say 35 isn't the cliff. And honestly, 40 isn't a wall either. It's where the slope gets steeper.

35 is a common cutoff on medical forms, at which point you are labeled a “geriatric pregnancy”. It's a label, not a switch that flips on your birthday.

What I'd want you to take away

1. Don't panic at 35. Fear and shame don't help anyone conceive.

2. Don't wait forever either. If you know you want kids, think ahead and have a solid plan. Just because you can have kids in your late 30s or 40s, doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. The older you get, the healthier you have to be to have healthy children.

3. Know when to get checked. Fertility guidelines suggest an evaluation after 12 months of trying if you're under 35, after 6 months if you're 35 or older, and sooner than that if you're over 40. Personally, I believe you should get comprehensive testing done BEFORE you even try to conceive. This is what we do at Ferta for all our couples. Why would you wait 6 or 12 months to know something is off?

4. Focus on what you can influence. Your age is fixed. Your blood sugar, sleep, stress, nutrition, and cycle health are not. Being stressed out all the time, eating packaged and inflammatory foods, smoking, drinking, and a weight that's very low or very high are all linked to lower fertility. The healthier you are, the better your odds are of having a healthy pregnancy in your late 30s and 40s.

5. Remember that averages hide a wide range. Some 38 year olds conceive quickly, and some 30 year olds struggle. Ultimately, your fertility timeline will depend on your internal health and well being.

I can't promise anyone a pregnancy, and I won't pretend age doesn't matter. It does. But "it matters" and "it's over at 35" are very different messages.

If you want help with your own picture

My recommendation is to get tested before you even start trying so that you understand where you stand and if anything needs to be fixed.

If you want to talk it through, book a free discovery call here. You can also see 1:1 coaching and pricing at joinferta.com/pricing.

This is what we do in Ferta 1:1 coaching. We look at your cycle, your metabolic health, and your labs, then build a protocol that makes you as fertile as possible.

More soon,

Preethi